“I am sorry, I do not understand. You had said you are doing better. What I have left of you now, sadly it is only a letter. The ink on paper, written and my heart breaks. It is forever now that you are gone and I wish we had more time, we could have done this together. Why’d you leave so soon? Something evil might have taken a hold of you. I am now jealous of the angels, spending every single day with you and I am here without you. The world made you believe that it was your time to go, it pains me that I can only be sorry that you will never see…you had a lifetime of love and opportunity. You did not have to go.”
Eight months had passed after he got tested and found out he was HIV positive. He didn’t tell anyone. Why? I guess he was afraid. Afraid that life wouldn’t be the same. Afraid of the stigma, heartache and pain. Afraid that he didn’t know what tomorrow would hold. I think he was too caught up to see what he truly meant to us, those who loved him.
But I don’t blame him. I really don’t. I blame the pseudo reality that we live in. The picture-perfect, Instagram illusion that we like to pursue whilst constantly denying our harsh realities such as violent relationships, loneliness and depression, drug and substance abuse, Sexual abuse, and identity dysphoria . It is difficult to open up on personal matters of our lives.
Did he have to take his own life though? Research states that despite significant medical advancements related to HIV treatment and patient’s quality of life, risk of suicide in these patients is high and health care providers should prioritize mental health screening in this population.
So how do we ensure that none of us ends their life after knowing their status? Are we doing enough to support those living with HIV or do we simply assume that they will figure it out, eventually?
To be continued . . . .
About the author.
Ibrahim Muntanga Malupande is an outreach worker at HAPA KENYA.
He is passionate about health, fitness, and mental wellness. Ibrahim is also passionate about uplifting others, learning, and loves art.
His ambition is to strive towards success and uplift those in need.
Why? Because he believes in sacrifice, discipline, dedication, and consistency.
He believes that instead of wondering when our next vacation is, we should set up a life we don’t need to escape.